Sunday, June 12, 2011

My "Woman" Card...

A friend's comment on the illustrious Facebook prompted this blog.  She was struggling with sewing French Seams.  Let me first say I don't even know what a french seam is.  Second, I can't even thread the needle on a sewing machine (but Jerry can and sewed CJ an entire little outfit when he was a baby, zipper and all).  So -this begs the question, should my "woman card" be revoked?  I mean, said friend is way ahead of me, that is for certain, but is sewing an antiquated notion of "woman's work"?
I'm recently in love with 1950's art and pictures!

I cannot sew.  Barely get a button put back on a pair of shorts, but I wish I could.  I love the idea of making my own clothes but it seems in today's modern times, sewing isn't something I have time for.  I'm in awe of women who whip together precious outfits for their little girls and I still remember dresses my Grandma made for me.  My Granny, bless her soul, even did her best to teach  me to sew one summer but I was a total failure as a student.  I'd love to find somebody who could sew for me, it's as economical as the outrageous store prices and at least it would me to a "T" and I wouldn't have to get said outfit altered, which I do.  A lot.

I'm a working mom and time is not my friend when it comes to the fine art of sewing (or embroidery or scrap-booking or jewelry making or <insert other crafty activity here>).  And yes, I'm a teacher, which means the world believes I have summers off and should have time.  I assure you I do NOT have the  summer off.  Not one tiny little bit.  I attend in-services to learn how to be a better teacher or write better tests so my students can pass an idiotic proficiency score set by some bonehead at the state level that has never set foot inside a high school classroom, and could not tell the pattern of this sentence if his/her life depended upon it!  I digress.  Sewing.  Women's work.

What is the "woman card" so to speak?  Is it cooking dinner every night?  Is it bake sales for the local PTA?  Is it arts and crafts and scrapbooks?  Is it doing the laundry and the housework?  Raising kids?  Kissing boo-boos?  Saying good night prayers?  Tending the garden (another failed "woman" adventure for me)?  My husband and I joke about "boy" jobs and "girl" jobs, but really at the end of the day, when you have kids, it's "parents" jobs.  I take out the trash (Jerry would beg to differ) and he cleans the house (I would beg to differ ;-).  Plants would die even more often if Jerry didn't remind me to water them; heck, half of the time (and by half, I mean like 75%) he plants them.  In my miniscule defense, he did work for a landscaping company prior to joining the Army.

Don't be afraid to laugh at this - it's funny!
I consider myself to be a modern gal.  I appreciate my right to work outside the home and to draw a paycheck that equals my male counterparts (however, in the business world I hear this is still not even....hmmm.....).  I enjoy being able to say what I want to say and write what I want to write and that I have a husband that fully supports all of these ideas.  And I do cook.  And clean.  And garden (sort of).  And sew on buttons.  And kiss boo-boos.  But so does Jerry and I love him for it!   Do I cook more?  Sure I do.  But he always does the dishes (yes girls, be jealous, it's okay).

I don't know if there are real rules anymore - a "man card" or "woman card"...things women should do, things men should do.  I think, honestly, both sexes do it all now.  Circumstances dictate the kind of woman or man you are.  I do more around the house because I'm here.  I've replaced locks, put together furniture, painted rooms, moved the refrigerator, put air in the tires, set traps, killed mice (and removed them) and fished dead birds and frogs out of the pool filter.  Jerry has cleaned toilets, mopped floors, folded laundry, and comforted a sick child.  In this day and age, we do what needs to be done.

But I've not lost my edge as the fairer sex, nor my humor (as noted in the picture above).  I like the delicacy of being a woman, and the strength that comes with this.  I've posted an essay I wrote (that came from a blog I did over a year ago) in the My Writing section entitled The Authenticity of Being a Woman. 

I hope you enjoy, even if you don't agree 100%.

But, to end this on a truly funny note, here are the 9-words you should truly understand when said by a woman.  As much as I would love to take credit for this list, I cannot.  But, I do enjoy it!


(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake .

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying SCREW YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

1 comment:

  1. That list is downright funny. As a married man of 18 years, I gotta tell ya that you're spot on!