Monday, May 3, 2010

Nine words....

A good friend recently sent this to me for no other reason than, it's funny.  Laugh out loud funny.  Why does it bring such a chuckle?  Because it's true.  However, she did send only the top portion, Nine Words Women Use.  One of our other church members on the email list took it upon himself to dig up the Nine Words Men Use and I felt obliged to include it in this posting.  Originally I had intended to send only the fairer sexes use of language, but the male counterpart to this could not be ignored.

Today's blog is solely for entertainment purposes. If you read this before, and no doubt you have as it has circled the email train station more than once, read it again.  This one always makes me smile!

Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake .
Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').
Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying SCREW YOU!
Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.


1-YEP-We hear you, are acknowledging you, but could really care less.
2-UH HUH-There is something better that we are paying attention to so please shut up.
3-I GOT IT-Usual response after the first 100 times you said something, we are going to do it, just on our time line, not yours.
4-THAT'S FINE-That does mean yes, not sarcasm, yes.  A reply to something you might have asked that we wanted for dinner.  You do not have to reply with make dinner yourself then.
5-LOUD SIGH-Were fed up, done with your childish behavior.  Usually, no words follow this however, if they do, you better listen.
6-THE UNSPOKEN WORD-This is the stare you get.  Often after you ask us something dumb and already know the answer to because we already told you.  Just lets us know you really don't listen so why should we.
7-WOMAN-When you hear this, know that you are on our last nerve.  Our very last nerve.  Be quiet immediately. Seriously.
8-ARE YOU KIDDING-This is not a question so never reply.  I repeat, never reply.  Are you kidding is a statement usually made when a woman has failed to use her brain.  We shouldn't be surprised but from time to time we are caught off guard.
9-I LOVE YOU-Our way of saying sorry from time to time.  Accept it without gloating and avoid sarcasm at all cost. 

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